Letting Go
by pjolympus
Summary: She wondered if Tartarus had ever heard so much hope before. Maybe it was a fool's hope, but it was something to keep her going so she could help keep him going - it was something that made her want to make it.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, it's been a while!**

 **I'm currently working on something else which is taking so much longer than anticipated, but I can whip out things like this pretty quickly so you will have this story from me in the meantime.**

 **T for swearing**

* * *

"Can we stop? Just five minutes. Please." Annabeth grumbled.

Percy's face looked dark. He was trying his best - trying to get them the hell out of there as quick as he could before one of them got killed or hurt any more than they had already or worse. He didn't like to think about what could happen to them down there, what horrible ways they could suffer before it was all over, one way or another.

He scanned the area. They had come to some sort of cavern. Long shards of rock hung above them in rows and the air felt thick - if it could even be classed as air. Every breath he took burned his lungs and stung his eyes and hell, he'd be lucky if he didn't suffocate at this rate.

"Sorry. Yeah, of course. I could use a break too, to be honest."

"Um," she looked around and pointed towards a rocky ledge, not too far away. "There? We wouldn't be as exposed as we are now."

Percy nodded and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

She was terrified - they both were. She had no inkling of how long they had been down there but she could _feel_ it. She felt like she had been cloaked in some kind of permanent despair, forcing her to believe they were never going to find the Doors of Death, they were never going to make it out, that they were going to be separated or die and not even make it to Elysium because that's not how it worked down here.

Every second without Percy's hand in hers felt long and painful and she knew he wasn't exactly in the best frame of mind either.

She sat on the rough ground beside him, watching as he turned his sword over and over in his hands. All his raw edges were showing and she wasn't really used to that. Sometimes he could be bitter about his past, but it was different down here. He seemed dangerous and vengeful, like he was going to push himself and push himself until there was nothing left. Of course, he would never hurt _her_ and she trusted him with everything, but in all honesty she was aching to hear his soft laugh or for some kind of stupid joke from him.

"Are you alright?" She asked eventually.

"Downright _fantastic_." He didn't mean to spit the words out the way he had and he instantly felt guilty about it. He wasn't making it any easier by being like that. He sighed. "That wasn't cool. I'm sorry."

She shook her head.

"It doesn't matter. Shall I take that as a no?"

He didn't answer. His arm curled around her shoulders and he kissed her temple.

"I just want to be able to sit here and promise you that everything's going to be okay but I can't because I don't really believe it myself." He swallowed as his eyes began to sting, although he wasn't sure if was from the air anymore. "I just can't believe that after everything we've ended up down _here_ with the fucking flimsiest excuse for a plan ever and no way of knowing if we're ever gonna get there."

"...I'm sorry, Percy."

He shook his head.

"No." He said softly. "Not your fault. I just wish..."

He wished it could have been someone else and he despised himself for it. More than anything, he wished it wasn't Annabeth.

"I know." She said shortly, finishing off his sentence in her head. "Thank you. For not letting go."

"Didn't even consider it." He mumbled, trying to keep his voice steady.

She looked up at him. He had risked everything to be here with her. They were almost certainly going to die and they both knew it. He could have had a life. He could have found someone else and fallen in love and had a family and he had taken all that away from himself to be with her.

He was an idiot. And she loved him for it.

"I know." She whispered. "It's the most stupid thing you've ever done though. I could kill you, sometimes."

He managed a smile.

"No. Leaving you would be more stupid. At least we've got _some_ kind of chance of settling down together if we ever get out of here. No one could make it through this place alone. Not even you."

"Nico."

"That's different and you know it."

She sighed and lay beside him with her head in his lap. Part of her wished they could just stay right there and wait to get eaten or something, rather than trawling on aimlessly through the darkness, holding on to their last shred of hope. It was _cruel_ to do that for herself, to either of them. Annabeth knew math and she knew the odds of she and Percy successfully getting their asses out of there were realistically too small to even consider.

But, she supposed, whilst she was down there, she might as well try. She was with Percy after all and if she was going to be spending her final hours with anybody, it would be with him.

If she were going to be spending her life with anyone, it would be him, too.

"... do you think we're going to die down here?"

"I hope not."

She was hoping he would say no.

As much as Percy didn't _want_ to carry on through this mess, he had to. He had to remember what her was doing this _for_. There was a whole group of people relying on them being on the other side of those doors. If they didn't do this, it would be over. _Everything_ would be over. Everyone dreaming of any kind of future would lose their chance.

People deserved _lives_. That was what he was doing this for. _He_ deserved a life. _Annabeth_ did. She deserved everything she could ever want and if they were going to make it out of this place alive, he would give her anything, he'd _do_ anything to make everything alright again.

They weren't going to be the same after this and he knew it. The second he hit that river, a switch seemed to have turned off in his brain and he was so _angry_. Rather than just hiding, he wanted to destroy every bastard monster he came across and he wanted to do it slowly. He _wanted_ them to suffer, to punish them for taking people away from him too soon, to force them to understand how painful grief could be.

He decided to change the subject. They needed to take their minds off things, if only for a couple of minutes.

"Where do you reckon we'll be in ten years time?"

She closed her eyes, temporarily shutting the world out. She dragged Percy's arm over her and held onto him tightly, aching for as much comfort as she could get.

She could almost pretend she was on the beach at camp on a blisteringly hot day. If she concentrated really hard, she could almost hear the sea and she longed to be back there so much. She missed lazing around with Percy and she missed the smell of the sticky ribs from the barbecue and she even missed laughing at Mr.D getting her name wrong.

"Hey. Don't fall asleep on me." Percy said gently, stroking her grimy hair away from her face. "I asked you a question, Wise Girl."

She smiled a little.

"I'm not asleep." She promised. "And I guess you owe me a tour around New Rome. Maybe we could convince Chiron to let us build our own version. So obviously, our house would be exactly how we want it -"

"- Because you'd be designing it, right?"

"Right. With sea views to keep you quiet and big windows because I'm getting sick of being stuck in the dark."

Percy swallowed. He thought _he_ hadn't seen the sun for a long time, but Annabeth had spent even _more_ days underground on her quest. If it was driving him to pieces, what was it doing to _her_?

"Yeah. Me too."

"And we'd have a balcony outside our bedroom. You know - like full on, clichè romantic balcony with the doors flung open and all that bullshit."

He laughed a little. He hadn't expected that from her, but he wasn't complaining. He _was_ a romantic, so all those kind of clichès were always going to be a winner for him.

"I'd like that."

"I know you would."

He wanted that life. He wanted that life _so badly_. He wanted the future he'd dreamed about when he lost her. It had given him hope _then_ and it was the only hope he was hanging on to now.

"We'll be twenty seven, so I feel like we could stretch to a little responsibility. Can we get a dog?"

"You have a dog."

"Mrs. O'Leary doesn't count. We can't exactly keep her in the house."

"Fine. Just no kids until I'm at least thirty, alright?"

Percy snorted. Maybe in any other circumstances, he would have been embarrassed. Heck, whenever his Mom brought up the subject of grandchildren he usually wanted to hide forever, but this was different. This was a future he and Annabeth might not get, so this meant everything. It meant that he could at least _dream_ about it. It meant that although he'd probably never live it physically, he'd get to live it in his head and that would have to be enough.

"Not if I have it my way."

"Which is..?"

"Kids when we're like, twenty eight. Only two, though."

" _Only?_ " She grumbled. "Two is plenty, thanks."

"I'll hold you to that."

She wondered if Tartarus had ever heard so much hope before. Maybe it was a fool's hope, but it was _something_ to keep her going. Something that made her _want_ to make it.

She wanted Percy. She wanted a life with him. She wanted him to understand how much he meant to her. If there was a chance of that, she was going to take it and it wan't going to happen while she was resting. She finally opened her eyes and groaned, taking in the horrible world around her, before looking up at her Seaweed Brain. His face was smeared with muck and his eyes were tired, but he was still beautiful.

"I love you," she said softly as she sat up, "but we should get moving."

"Yeah, I know." He stood up and offered her his hand. "We're going to get ourselves out of here."

She nodded and let him pull her up.

"Thanks." She brushed herself off and squinted into the distance, nodding towards what looked like the safest route - the clearest. "That way?"

"That way." He agreed and held her hand as they walked through the darkness, holding on to the tiny slither of hope they had.


	2. Chapter 2

Annabeth breathed in deeply, leaning over the railings on the bough of the ship.

She and Percy had been back for two days. She felt tired and frail, even with the fresh saltiness of the air and the spray of the water as they sailed.

"Hey."

Piper had appeared beside her. Of all the people on the ship, Annabeth had missed her the most. They were kind of unlikely friends, but Piper had been there for her while she was looking for Percy. She had supported her on their way to the Roman camp for the first time, even when she had things of her own to worry about. She had been smiling as much as her when she found him and that said enough.

Not to mention, she hadn't been treading lightly around her like some of the others had been and it was a comforting reminder that with some time, things could get back to normal.

"Hi Pipes."

"Have you eaten?"

Needless to say, Tartarus had affected her physically as well as mentally. She was thin and pale and she hated catching sight of herself in the mirror in her room. It wasn't really helping her mood. Her exhaustion had her falling asleep a lot, which frequently resulted in vivid nightmares, which left her virtually unable to see straight, let alone stomach anything. It was a never-ending circle of pain.

But thats what Tartarus was designed for. Even now she was back up in the fresh air, she still felt like she was suffering constantly, withered by flashbacks and bad memories and old wounds that hadn't entirely healed.

"Not yet." She admitted.

"I wouldn't tell Percy that if I were you."

"No. If he asks -"

"I won't go out of my way to bring it up, but I'm not going to lie to him." She sighed. "He's only trying to look out for you and I'm not going to stop him. Someone's gotta do it and you'd probably kill me if I started doting on you."

She was trying to make her smile, but it wasn't working.

"But he'll worry. There's enough going on as it is. He doesn't need that."

"You think he doesn't worry about you already? Don't you worry about him?"

She huffed indingnantly. Piper was frustratingly good at justifying things, even when she wasn't using her charmspeak. She had never met anyone as set on doing the right thing since she met Percy - and that was saying a lot.

Truthfully, she _was_ worried about him, almost frightened for him. He was acting disturbingly normal since they first set foot on mortal ground and it scared her. She _knew_ he was feeling what she was, even if he hadn't admitted it. She wanted to _understand_. She didn't know what he was hiding it for. She wasn't sure if he was trying to protect her or stay strong for the group or if he was ignoring it for his _pride_ \- hubris was _her_ fatal flaw, but Percy wasn't shy to it either.

She wished he'd just tell her what was going on with him.

"All the time." She admitted.

"Exactly. Doesn't he have a right to be concerned for you too?"

"He does. But... I'm sure I've not been the easiest over the last couple of days but he's not right. He won't tell me _anything_ and I can't do this on my own."

Piper looked at her, and the look on Annabeth's face hurt more than she thought anything could. This was someone she'd call a sister, barely holding it together after being the person Piper had looked up to most. Her lip quivered and her eyes were pale and distant and for the first time ever, she was afraid for her. Annabeth was the strongest person she knew and she had never seen _anyone_ look so close to giving everything up.

She couldn't show that though. She had heard somewhere that people subconsciously picked up other people's emotions. She didn't want to make things any worse than they were.

"First things first - you are not on your own. I have no idea what you've been through and I can't imagine the shit you've seen but I'm always going to be here to listen. I am actually good for things other than relationships, you know?"

Annabeth smiled weakly.

"I know that."

"Yeah, well, you seemed like you needed reminding. So - you and Percy. What's going on?"

"Nothing, as such." She stared into the sea, but it just made her worry about him more. " _We're_ fine. I'm just worried because he's acting like nothing's happened. If I wake him up when he's having a nightmare, he won't talk about it anymore. We've hardly said two words about anything that happened down there and I can't live like that. I _can't_ keep it shut in or I'll go mad. It's too much to keep quiet."

Piper nodded. Hell, she hated what Percy and Annabeth had been through, but she was glad it had been them. Of anyone on that ship, they were the only two who Piper would truly believe would come back alive and _together_. She had heard stories about everything they had been through tigether in the past, either from Nico or Annabeth and there was too much between them to let go of.

"Have you told him that?" She asked.

"Well, no. I don't want to argue about it."

"Of course not." She said softly. "I know I haven't known him all that long but I know he'll do anything for anyone who means something to him, even if he suffers for it, right?"

"Yes." She agreed.

"Maybe he's just afraid of hurting you, Annabeth. I'm guessing he just doesn't want to bring it up because he doesn't want you to have to think about it ever again."

Annabeth thought on that for a minute, gripping onto the metal bars in front of her. She _hated_ this. She hated what it had done to her, she hated what it was doing to Percy. She hated waking up and seeing how much he was hurting. She hated the look on his face when he woke her up from nightmares. Everything felt like a _mess_ and she didn't know where they were going to start in terms of recovering when they got back home, if they made it that far.

"Yeah." She said eventually. "Yeah. Makes sense. I need to go see if he's okay anyway. I left him asleep and -"

"Nightmares."

Annabeth nodded.

"Yeah."

"Its okay - talk to him. I'll see you in a bit."

"We need to talk about this expedition we're going on tomorrow anyway. Let's keep it sounding as risk-free as possible though please because -"

"'Cause of Percy. I know."

Annabeth smiled gratefully.

"Hey, would you thank Jace again for covering Percy's watch shift earlier for me?"

"He wouldn't expect you to do that."

"I know he wouldn't. Just... please?"

Piper rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Now go do something useful and keep an eye on your boyfriend, would you?"

"I'm going. If -"

"I _know_ , Annabeth. We'll shout if we need you. _Go_." Piper laughed.

She smiled a little and squeezed Piper's shoulder as she walked away.

She was grateful they were travelling by sea, for Percy's sake. He had spent a lot of time in the water over the last couple of days. It comforted him and Annabeth knew it reminded him of camp. It had been months since he had been home and he had never really brought it up but she knew how much he missed his Mom, their friends, even his stupid pet Hellhound - people who Annabeth had promised she would bring Percy back safe to.

She slipped into his room, closing the door silently behind her.

It took her less than a couple of seconds to realise he was having a bad dream. She was used to doing this by now, but it still killed her to see him like it.

She perched by his side and squeezed his shoulder forcefully, her hand on his chest to stop him from freaking out too much, so he knew she was there.

His eyes shot open, wide and blown with fear.

"Hey. Hey - it's me." Annabeth whispered. He blinked. "I'm here, Percy."

His body relaxed and he sighed - half with relief, half out of frustration. It had been two fucking days and he couldn't get the place out of his head. He couldn't close his eyes for a _second_ and not see it. He couldn't not see _them_. He couldn't look at the stars and feel the same anymore.

"Thanks." He said eventually, reaching out and shakily touching a curl that had come loose.

"I'm sorry. I was with Piper."

He rolled his eyes half-heartedly.

"S'alright. I don't expect you to babysit me."

"I guess not."

She leaned down to kiss his forehead, but he pulled her on top of him and he pressed his lips to hers. He had _missed_ her. He couldn't remember the last time they were together like this and it was a good reminder that he had something to live for. There was every point in fighting.

There had been a few close calls in the past, but this felt kind of different. Both of them knew if one of them didn't stop, things would get too far and both of them knew that wasn't a good idea. Not because they cared about their first time being romantic or sentimental, but because anything could happen here. Attacks could be sprung on them at any second and they weren't exactly going to be able to defend themselves mid-fuck.

Percy was the one who eventually pulled away with a small, apologetic smile.

"I know." Annabeth whispered, rolling off him and lying by his side.

She wrapped her arm around him and sighed, vaguely content. She hadn't felt so alive in weeks. Her time since her Mark of Athena quest had been spent in a zombified haze. She had felt almost empty, just concentrating on what she and Percy needed to do to stay alive.

"How you doing, Seaweed Brain?"

The question took him by surprise, but he knew exactly what she was referring to. He _hated_ even thinking about it, but he understood he'd never get over it if he didn't.

He was doing badly, in all honesty. The dreams were so vivid he couldn't even tell if they were dreams anymore and they weren't just repetitions of what happened. His mind had been conjouring up new and terrifying events that could have happened down there. Most of them had involved Annabeth.

He had suddenly become uncomfortably aware of their mortality. One day, one of them would die and one would have to learn to live without the other and the thought haunted him.

"Not great." He admitted.

"No. Me neither."

He sucked in a breath. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.

"Everything I said down there;" he mumbled, "what I said about us. I meant it you know? You and me - we're gonna be okay. We're gonna be fine."

When things got rough, Percy had rambled on about their future, to keep himself going as much as Annabeth. Everything down to what their house was going to look like was described in explicit detail. These were things he would _never say_ in any ordinary situation, but what did he have to lose? He thought he was going to die. He might as well have been honest with her about how much she really meant, how much he didn't want a life without her - so much so that if he was going to leave Tartarus, he wouldn't do it if she wouldn't be leaving with him.

"I know." Annabeth whispered. "But hey, you know I feel the same, right? Trying to get me to leave without you was pretty unreasonable. I would never have done that, Percy."

"I guess not. But I don't think I'd have forgiven myself if we had stayed and I hadn't tried."

It was noble and sweet, but Annabeth couldn't help feeeling a little pissed off. When she said they were staying together, she had _meant_ it. The circumstances didn't matter.

"Yeah? And what do you think I would have done if I _had_ left without you? I couldn't live with myself if -"

"Stop." He sighed. "I get it. I'm sorry, okay? For a lot of things. For scaring you. For the curses. For not being able to pull you up."

Annabeth rolled over and frowned down at him.

"Now _you_ stop. I don't expect you to apologise for any of it. None of it was your fault. Hades, Percy, we were in Tartarus - it was always gonna unhinge us somewhat. The poison thing... you did what you had to do. We're alive. That's what matters."

He looked up at her tiredly and only then did she realise how much he had been beating himself up about that. She wouldn't deny it _had_ frightened her and she doubted she would be able to forget it, but Percy wasn't a _bad_ person. He would never hurt anyone unless he had to and his choices had been pretty limited, to say the least.

He was crying - _finally_. After holding it in for however long they were down there, it had gotten the better of him. Annabeth wished he knew he didn't have to be strong _all the time_ \- not for her, not for anyone.

"Hey. If I had been you I would have done the same thing." She touched his cheek. "Just stop _blaming_ yourself for everything. You could have let me go, but you _didn't_ and as much as I hate you for it, for putting yourself through _more_ bullshit, I wouldn't have even survived the fall if it weren't for you. I would never have asked you to do any of what you did, Seaweed Brain. I wouldn't wish it on someone I hated, let alone _you_."

He nodded.

"And stop trying to avoid the subject. If we're going to come away alright from this we're going to have to talk about it."

He nodded again. She leaned down and kissed him.

"You don't have to pretend everything's alright, Perce. Not for me. I love you no matter what. You should know that."

"I love you too." He said hoarsely.

He rubbed his eyes on his sleeve and pulled Annabeth close to him, resting his chin on her hair. He wanted this quest to be over. He wanted to go back to the home he loved and rebuild the life he loved with the girl he loved even more.

"When we get back, we'll do something for your birthday. Cool?"

"I could live with that."

He smiled a little sadly, blankly staring up at the ceiling.

"See Mom first, though."

"Obviously. I miss her."

"Yeah." Percy sighed. "Me too, Wise Girl."

"I'll get you back to her. I promised her I would." She closed her eyes. "Its the last few days and then it'll be over. We can do this. And then we'll never have to do it again."

That was a nice thought. Within a couple of weeks, he could be curled up on his Mom's couch with the cookies he had missed so much, her soft laugh echoing through the kitchen. He could be back _home_ , in the city he adored with the family he adored. He could _finally_ get some decent time with Annabeth, doing _normal things_ rather than walking through the depths of hell and fighting for their lives.

"We can do this." He agreed in a whisper. "Just stay safe on this thing you're going on tomorrow, okay?"

"I'll do my best."

It wasn't the confidence he needed to hear, but it settled him a little. He'd ask Jason to keep an eye on her either way. Just to be sure.

He squeezed her shoulder.

"Thanks. I -" There was a knock at the door. "Yeah!?"

Jace's head appeared around the doorframe. He was grinning a little and Percy almost laughed, knowing what he was assuming.

"Um, we're meeting in the mess hall in five. And no worries about covering your watch, man. It isn't a problem. You've had a rough couple of weeks."

"Thanks. I owe you one."

"Don't be an ass. Annabeth - I wouldn't tell Hazel you're in here if I were you. She's not quite comfortable on the bed-sharing front yet."

"I'm sure she'll survive."

"Not if you've been up to anything." He smirked.

"Which we haven't been. Thanks for the advice, though.

Jason laughed.

"I'll see you guys in a minute."

Percy rolled his eyes as Jason grinned at him again and jogged down the corridor.

"Hades. He's more desperate than I am."

Annabeth smirked and kissed his cheek.

"You're ridiculous. Come on, Seaweed Brain. Its lunchtime."


	3. Chapter 3

It felt strange, being back in a cab.

It was so normal it was almost _alien_ to him. Percy hadn't been home for months and months but it almost felt like he was going home after a regular summer at camp.

The last few days had been kind of chaotic; cleaning up after the battle had been equal measures of sad and tiring, he and Annabeth had been completely suffocated by the crazy welcome they had recieved when everything was over, there were endless people to try to console somewhat after close losses - he had been busy _constantly_ and he was glad he hadn't had the time to stop.

His heart ached for Jason and Piper. Losing someone so close to you stung like hell for a long, long time. Percy couldn't deny a couple of tears shed over Leo - even if they never saw totally eye to eye, he _had_ grown fond of the guy. He was like that annoying little cousin who followed you around at parties. He irritates you when he's there, but when he's not, Hades, do you miss him.

Earlier that morning, Chiron had told him to go home.

The nerves bubbled up into his throat again. He had missed her more since he got back to camp, knowing he was so close to her but not quite there.

He wasn't sure how much his Mom knew, exactly. Chiron had been kind of vague - all Percy knew was that she knew he was alive and relatively okay. He knew that she had recieved his voicemail from Alaska. What he didn't know was if she was aware of what the last few months had entailed for him.

If she did, it would be killing her and Percy knew it. She knew enough about the Greek world to know that even the Gods feared what Tartarus would do to them.

He wished he could keep it quiet, but he knew that wasn't fair. He had lost a load of weight for a start and how would he explain that? He would have to explain what had happened to Annabeth's laptop, because she was barely ever seen anywhere without it. His nightmares were so bad he'd have to explain to her that he hadn't slept without Annabeth since they first set foot back on the ship. It was too much to try to cover up with some dumb excuse and he knew it.

"Hey, did you catch a word of that?" Annabeth asked.

Percy snapped out of his trance, turning away from the window to look at her.

"Uh, no. Wasn't listening. Sorry."

She rolled her eyes.

"Does she know we're coming?"

"Yeah. Chiron spoke to her this morning. I would have done it myself but..."

He left the sentence to tail off. It had been too long for him to just IM her and pick things up where they left off.

"Good." She said. "It'll be fine, Percy."

He nodded. He knew she will have missed him as much as he had missed her and he could imagine her rattling aroung the flat, waiting for him. He hoped she had baked cookies.

"It's not seeing her that I'm freaking out about. It's her seeing _me,_ just 'cause I look so beaten up."

It was true - they both did. Their clothes hung awkwardly on their boney frames and Percy had a deep cut along the side of his neck that hadn't healed yet. They were both battered and bruised and his Mom wasn't going to like it.

"Well, what does she expect? I mean -"

"Annabeth, I don't think she knows." He looked down. "I mean, Chiron didn't tell me if he'd said anything but honestly? I'm not sure he would have."

She looked at him, almost sadly. He had cleaned himself up the best he could, but he still didn't look anywhere close to healthy. Whatever Sally was expecting, it probably wasn't this. If Percy was right and she didn't know, it had potential to be a tough few hours - trying to talk her through everything as gently as possible without crying or hyperventilating would almost certainly be a task.

She sighed.

"Percy, your Mom has seen some serious shit and I'm sure, regardless of you looking a bit like a twig, that she's just going to be glad to see you. She's kind of used to you coming home looking like you've been in a car accident anyway."

He raised his eyebrows at her, shoving her arm gently.

"You're really laying on the flattery thick this morning, Wise Girl."

"Don't take it personally." She laughed. "It's fair to say we've _both_ looked better."

"Yeah. I know."

It hurt him, seeing her the way she was. She was gorgeous, yes, but she was also _so_ thin. She could feel her ribs when she lay beside him at night and he _hated_ it. He _hated_ the boneyness of her arms when they wrapped around him. She _hated_ it when her ankle was playing up and she limped around like she was seventy years older. He _hated_ catching sight of the deep scar on the back of her thigh. He hated what she had been through.

"Stop looking at me like that. I'm _fine_."

"Mm." He grumbled.

He had been pretty irritable all day, but Annabeth couldn't blame him. Neither of them had gotten much sleep last night - it had been hot and sweaty and when they did finally fall asleep, an hour later she had accidentally woken Percy up after a pretty intense nightmare. That on top of his nervousness left him a little edgy.

Things weren't exactly _fine._ Things were a mess and she knew Percy knew that. She just wanted his attention to be turned elsewhere - his Mother. He, as much as he thought he did, had no idea of how painful the few months without him had been. Annabeth had been seeing Sally _every week_ and _she_ had to watch the hope fade from her eyes each time she turned up with no news. He _hadn't_ been there when Sally had suddenly broken down on her shoulder, when she had lost all hope and believed he was dead. He _hadn't_ been there when Annabeth couldn't sleep, tearing herself to pieces with fear and worry and missing him so much he was all she could think about.

"It doesn't matter, okay?"

He frowned.

"Of course it matters. I'm worried about you, Wise Girl. That nightmare last night -"

"Can we talk about this later?" She interrupted, her voice turning sharp.

"Yeah. I just... out of ten? How bad?"

She sighed, knowing he wouldn't let it go unless she answered.

"Ten. Maybe eleven."

She wouldn't meet his eyes as he looked at her. She could tell he was trying not to say anything else about it. She could almost feel the hurt and worry radiating out of him.

She reached over and squeezed his hand.

"Perce, I'll get over it. If you wanna talk about it, I will - but later."

He nodded.

"Okay." He breathed.

His first reaction to stuff like this was to feel angry. He was fucking brimming with it, each time something like this happened, he felt like going on some sort of rampage and seek out every greek monster in the city. He _hated_ the fates for this. He and Annabeth were strong - he knew that, they had proved it - but to keep throwing things like this at them was cruel.

He looked over at her. Her hand was still resting on top of his as she stared out at the rain slapping the windows. She had been at the other end of one of his fits of anger once and she hadn't raised her voice at him. Not once. She had sat there and _listened_ to him scream about how much he hated everything and how he thought things were never going to work out for them because they weren't lucky enough. She had sat there quietly and watched him break down at the thought of ever going on a quest again, at the thought of ever losing her.

She was crying by the end of it, but she had still said the right words and told him that things were going to be okay.

She was amazing.

As they stepped out of the cab and thanked the driver, she took his hand and Percy suddenly realised that she must be nervous too. Over the few months before he had disappeared, Annabeth had gotten to know them pretty well and his apartment had kind of become a second home for her. He forgot that they meant something to her too.

"I hope she made cookies." Percy mumbled, taking the steps two at a time. It felt so weird, being somewhere so familiar after such a long time - he used to hate this hallway, with its concrete steps and damp walls. Now it just felt like home. His hand shakily hovered over the handle. "Hey, do you reckon I ring the bell or -"

Before Annabeth could even consider answering, the door flung open and Percy was engulfed in a familiar pair of arms, his voice lost in a frizzy mass of brown hair.

"Hey Mom." He laughed.

She held him away at arms length, trying not to flinch at the boneyness of his shoulders, the tiredness in his eyes. As if it wasn't bad enough that he disappeared for months on end, he had clearly suffered for it too and that hurt almost as much as his absence.

"Don't you _ever_ do that to me again." She sniffed, wiping her eyes. "What happened to you? _Both_ of you."

She caught the way they looked at each other and their expressions made her dread the answer.

"Tell me in a minute." She sighed and pulled Annabeth into a tight hug. "Thank you for taking care of him."

Annabeth met his eyes for a second and he smiled at her. He looked gorgeous, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. She hadn't seen him look so content in weeks.

"Someone had to. He's an idiot."

She laughed a little.

"That's true. Anyway," she led them both inside and closed the door, "are you hungry? Because I made cookies."

Percy almost cried - he wasn't listening. He was so relieved to have made it back here. He had missed the walls brimming with old photographs and the stained rugs and the smell of his Mom's perfume. He could see his bedroom door open ajar just down the hallway and as he stepped inside, he noticed that barely anything had even been moved. His math homework was still on the dresser where he had left it, a photo of him and Annabeth was still tacked to the wall beside his bed. Most things hadn't even been touched, minus his favourite hoodie which he knew Annabeth had taken.

He wondered how many times Annabeth had been in there since he had gone and for the millionth time, he felt guilty for disappearing.

"You haven't even touched anything." He said softly.

"I couldn't. Annabeth was the only one who ever went in, really. It was just too much for me."

His Mom had always been that honest. She had no filter and said _exactly_ what was on her mind - even when Percy didn't want to hear it. He didn't _want_ to hear about the impact his disappearance had inflicted on her life. Jesus, if he could go back and avoid it, he would in a heartbeat. Not for him - for _them._ So much of their lives had been spent grieving and looking for leads in the tiniest things, all to find him.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. "Gods, I'm so sorry."

She shook her head and pulled him into her arms. Her baby was _home_ and that was what mattered.

"It wasn't your fault. You tried to get hold of me and I wasn't there for you. _I'm_ sorry."

"That doesn't matter. I didn't have much time anyway."

Sally smiled gratefully and collapsed onto her worn down chair with a sigh. She looked at the two of them with a sad smile. Percy was sat in his old spot on the couch that had remained empty for months and Annabeth was curled up beside him.

Something big had shifted in their chemistry since Sally had last seen them together. There was none of that new relationship excitement anymore and they seemed totally comfortable with together. There was no nervousness between them, no internalised worry about pushing the boundaries anymore and Sally couldn't decide if it was scary or completely lovely.

She wasn't a big romantic and she hated hearing about people who 'belonged together' but she couldn't deny there was something different about Percy and Annabeth. They had known each other for _years_ and Sally knew her son. She saw the first twinkles of some kind of crush in his eyes years before and she had been pushing at getting them together ever since.

"I hope you looked after her." Sally warned. "She was here at least once a week after you had gone."

"Yeah, I know. She's reminded me a few times." He looked at Annabeth, grinning a little. "And I guess it's not really for me to say. Mind you, if I even _suggested_ she needed looking after, she'd probably bite my head off."

Annabeth elbowed him.

"Yeah, I would. But I'd say that if you weren't such a heroic idiot I'd be dead. So," she looked at Sally, "he's made up for it."

"Good." She winked at Percy and he blushed. "So, its been months. What happened? Don't try to water it down like you usually do."

Percy looked at Annabeth and she squeezed his hand. She knew how much he didn't want to say anything but they both knew he _had_ to. It wasn't fair to Sally to have missed a whole six months of his life and not know a thing about it.

So he explained about waking up in the Wolf House, only remembering Annabeth. He told her about stepping over the river into the Roman camp and how there was an entire _town_ full of grown up demigods living safely within the camp's borders. He told her about Frank and Hazel and their quest in Alaska, about when he made the phone call, about how he, the Son of Poseidon, nearly drowned. He told her about freeing Thanatos, about going back to the Roman camp and being made praetor.

And then he told her about the giant flying warship appearing over them. He told her about his reunion with Annabeth.

He remembered looking at her, his heart in his throat, feeling like she wasn't even real. Her eyes were as frighteningly beautiful as he remembered them and she had looked ethereal with her hair tied back. He didn't tell her about the kiss because he figured it was TMI (she was his _Mother_ , for fucks' sake) but he _did_ tell her about Annabeth judo-flipping him.

"He deserved it." Annabeth reasoned.

No one argued with that.

Together, they told Sally about their time on the ship, about Coach Hedge and his _stupid_ baseball bat. They told her about Jason and Piper and Leo and how Jason had been involved in the demigod swap situation. Annabeth told Sally about she and Percy being 'grounded' by Coach Hedge, about stupid things that had happened like Frank turning into an iguana to get out of Chinese handcuffs, about eating ice-cream together in the sun, about Percy's _amazing_ plan to get the pirates off the ship.

She figured if she lightened things up a little, things wouldn't seem as bad. Maybe.

She tried not to take a darker tone as she told her about her quest, about what her mother had said to her. She told her about having lunch with Percy and Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck turning up on a motorbike beside the Tiber, about how Percy had tried so hard to come with her.

She described her quest in explicit detail, trying not to notice Percy freezing uncomfortably beside her. Even he hadn't heard the entire story. After all - when they were reunited afterwards, she was in a hopeless tired daze so she had rushed her way through it. She took his hand, trying to communicate that it was _okay_.

"You did all _that_ , with a broken ankle?"

"That's been mentioned."

It went silent for a minute. Neither of them wanted to tell her the next part.

"... So what then?"

Annabeth eventually sighed.

"I was an idiot. I didn't think to cut all the junk off my arms and ankles, so when Arachne fell, I fell with her. Percy grabbed me but it pulled him down too. He was holding onto this ledge like, fifteen feet down and if he'd let go then he could have -"

"Stop it." Percy grumbled.

"Sorry. But anyway, we..." She glanced at him, grateful she could say 'we'. "We fell."

It went quiet again. Sally swallowed - she knew what it meant, of course, but thinking about it killed her. She couldn't pretend that just because she could see through the Mist it meant she knew everything, but she could guess where that hole _led_. She understood what that meant and that not even Gods would set foot down there.

Her mouth felt dry.

"Tartarus." She whispered.

"Yeah." Percy admitted, clearly uncomfortable. "I mean, I don't want to go into too much detail 'cause frankly thinking about it still terrifies me."

"That's okay. You don't have to say anything if -"

"No. I.. I think I need to." He looked at Annabeth. "If you want to go sit in my room or -"

"No. It's alright."

He smiled a little, drawing her closer into his side. He was glad she hadn't left, in all honesty. He wasn't sure if he could talk about it without any kind of reassurance from someone who understood.

"Okay. So, anyway, it feels like we were falling for days. I'm not sure how long exactly but -"

"Three-ish. Can't be more than that."

"How do you even -"

"Math." Annabeth smirked.

Percy laughed a little.

"Of course. I never thought of that."

"Well, you wouldn't."

He snorted. She knew him too well.

"Anyway, there was water at the bottom so I did the Poseidon thing. Turns out it was the river of despair or something like that so I guess you can kind of imagine what that felt me feel like?"

Sally nodded. Not like she wanted to think about that.

"So Annabeth got us out of that nightmare by literally just _talking_ to me. We had lost pretty much everything in the fall so we literally just had my sword. No food or anything. And _then_ we realised that the air was posionous so Annabeth saved us _again_ by knowing everything and finding this fire river with a really gross name."

"Phlegathon."

"Right. So we took a drink from that and -"

Annabeth shook her head.

"No. I thought Percy was going to die for a second because he passed out. I had already taken a drink from the river so I was okay. I'm glad it worked because if not... it would have been all over. I wouldn't have seen the point without him and -"

"Annabeth." Percy sighed.

Admittedly, she hadn't meant to say it. If it was the other way around, it was the last thing she wanted to hear, too, even if she knew he felt the same.

She glanced at him.

"I'm sorry."

"S'alright." He squeezed her hand. "When I wasn't dying and I could see what was going on it was... well. There was some pretty awful stuff to see down there, Mom, which..."

"I don't want to hear about it."

"No. I don't want to talk about it, either." His voice shook and Annabeth placed her hand on his chest. She could see he was struggling so she decided to take over.

She talked about following the dracanae for miles, about how one had been one Percy had destroyed not all that long ago. She spoke about Bob turning up and saving their lives.

She talked about the arai, although there wasn't much she coukd say about that. She was blind and unable to get to Percy for the most of it and when her sight came back, it was already over and her boyfriend had taken a tonne of curses to try to save her life. Idiot.

That had felt like the longest walk of her life. Following a _Titan_ through the pits of hell, trying to keep an eye on Percy was one of the hardest things she had ever had to do. She was no good at trusting anyone and in this case, she had been forced to, even if her instincts had been screaming against it. She had forced herself to not whip Percy from Bob's back and try to fix him herself.

She talked of the Giant's kindness - how he had healed Percy and gave them an opportunity to _rest_ , in a comfortable bed beside a warm fire. She talked about Night, about the death mist. She talked about their final fight with Tartarus himself. She talked about The Giant changing his fate and saving their lives. She talked about holding the doors closed with Percy.

She was choking back tears at this point. She and Percy had never told _anyone_ the entire story. Small events had been spoken of but they had never put the whole journey into words.

Despite her hands shaking and Percy's arm tense around her shoulders, she felt _better_ for it. Keeping it all inside would have always been a bad idea. It would never stop driving her into a paralysing sense of hopelessness unless she let it out.

"Thank you." Percy whispered, almost imperceptibly into her ear.

She squeezed his hand.

Sally was looking at them. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, but Annabeth had been too busy staring at the ground to notice.

"I'm so sorry." Sally mumbled eventually. Annabeth noticed how tightly her hands were clasped together on her lap and she understood that. Knowing Percy suffered the way he had made her feel like that, too.

"We're safe and Camp's safe. That's what matters. We'll be fine, Mom. Promise."

"And now?" Sally asked.

Percy looked at Annabeth and sighed.

"Not great. The nightmares are unbearable, sometimes. And uh, I haven't slept without Annabeth since -"

"- I can't sleep without him. I need to know that someone's going to be there to wake me up." Annabeth interrupted.

"Right. Same for me. So... I mean, obviously, it's up to you, Mom. But if you could trust us to share a room it would help loads. Please."

Sally looked at them with a sigh. She knew they meant it and even if a small part of her mind was screaming that she never wanted her Percy, her baby to grow up, she knew he was plenty mature enough to have his girlfriend in his room with him. Besides, he wasn't _like_ that. Even if she had never heard him say it, she knew he _loved_ Annabeth. She could see it in the way he held her and the way he looked at her. She could see he would never even _consider_ doing anything she wasn't comfortable with. She trusted him to be careful.

"No, that's okay. Just... Well, I guess you're old enough to know what your doing. Don't do anything stupid."

" _Mom_."

Sally smiled as his ears turned red.

"I'm just messing."

Annabeth laughed a little and nestled deeper into Percy's side.

"Thank you."

"Don't be thick, you. After everything you did for _me_ when Perseus did his disappearing act it's the least I can do to help. I'd do anything for either of you, okay?"

She nodded, resisting the urge to thank her again.

"You're the best, Mom."

Sally grinned.

"I know."


	4. Chapter 4

Percy sighed and rolled over, having been kicked awake by a sleeping Annabeth beside him.

She was having a nightmare, clearly. It broke his heart to see the pain in her face and her panicked breathing and her shaking frame. She _hated_ being out of control and that's what nightmares _were -_ she couldn't think up any amazing plans because her mind was conjuring this up and she couldn't control it. She was outsmarting _herself_ and Percy couldn't imagine what that felt like.

"Annabeth." He lay on his front, looking down at her. He held her hand and squeezed it, tight. "Wake up, Wise Girl."

It took a few tries, but eventually he saw the shine of her eyes as she brought herself back. Her body went limp beneath him. She couldn't find any words.

"I know." Percy whispered.

He pulled her close to him, gently stoking her hair.

It was four in the morning and he doubted either of them would get back to sleep now -especially not Annabeth. But that was okay. He didn't actually _mind_ waking up early that much, no matter what people thought. He liked the sleepy conversations and that weird grey light outside just as the sun was rising.

She felt warm and small in his arms. He hated the feeling of her ribs beside him.

"It was you." She whispered.

"Hm?"

"My dream. You got hurt and you..."

She didn't want to finish her sentence and she didn't need to. Since the fall, losing Percy had become her biggest fear. She hated going anywhere without him if she could help it and she knew she had to get over that. She couldn't be with him _all_ the time. They both needed their independance or what they had would crumble.

Not now, though. She needed him now - he smelled all sweaty and salty and that was comforting. He was here, with his arms wrapped around her and his forehead pressed to hers. He was alive.

"I'm sorry." He grumbled. He kissed her forehead. "Hey, Wise Girl. I'm _here_ \- I'm alright. Neither of us are gonna die, okay? Not until we're like, ninety, anyway. I'm not going to let that happen, Annabeth. Not now."

"I know you won't, Percy."

"Okay. Good." He sighed, staring up to the ceiling. Her legs were intertwined with hers and Gods, did he love her. He wanted to make the world a better place for her. She deserved everything and if he could give that to her, he would. "We're going to figure this out, you and me. We'll find a way to make it stop."

"I don't think its ever going to go away completely." She admitted. "I just want to be able to live with it. I just want to be able to close my eyes and think of _nothing_ , you know? We can't _forget_ \- I think that's an insult to them and unhealthy for us. We can't disregard what we've been through because that'll make it worse."

"You're too clever for your own good." Percy mumbled. "We'll get there, Wise Girl. I'll do anything."

"I know."

She sighed, closing her eyes and trying to focus on the soft circles Percy was rubbing on her forearm, his fingertips cool against her skin.

People didn't often see this side of him and she was lucky to know it. She understood why people found it hard to imagine he could be like this - he was wild and funny and loud - the last person anyone would expect to be soft like this. She knew she had always meant _something_ to him; he had trusted her with anything since their very first quest together and she had known the gentler, quieter side of him ever since.

"You okay?" He asked softly.

"... No."

He kissed her forehead but didn't say anything and she loved him even more for that. He knew when to stop and he never tried to make up bullshit when he had nothing left to say.

His hand innocently slid down to the small of her back and Annabeth sighed.

It was kind of involuntary; she rolled onto her front and kissed him, real soft and slow like the old days. She had missed the laziness of it all - the giggles and the awkward mistakes and the banged elbows. Trying to make out with him these days felt kind of rushed in a haze of stupid teenage desire and she missed _him_. She missed the stupid grins and the look in his eyes between kisses.

Still, he pulled away for a second. His cheeks were red, although his eyes were shining with concern.

"You sure?"

"Please. I miss you."

He nodded and pulled her close to him, unable to contain his grin as she pulled at the hem of his T-shirt and lifted it over his head.

Even in the dark, she could see how thin he was. And yet, even as she ran her fingers down the sharp dips between each rib, she thought he was beautiful. Stupid, innocent, beautiful Percy, with his ridiculous hair and playful eyes. Simultaneously the first and the last person she'd expect herself to fall in love with.

They had never got this far into it before, but they had never taken it this slow either. Physically, it was nothing they hadn't seen before - they had seen eachother semi-naked numerous times, but this felt _different_. Annabeth didn't feel exposed or cold self-conscious. She felt safe and she felt _gorgeous._ The way he was looking at her sent shivers down her spine and she loved him. Hades, she loved him.

"Percy..." She pulled away.

"Need to stop. I know." He said softly. "I just -"

"No. _Don't._ "

He sighed, gently running his fingers down her bare back.

"Wise Girl, we _can't_. We don't have any -"

He stopped when Annabeth shook her head, her eyes were sparkling playfully and her pupils were blown.

"What if we did?"

"Then you know what I'd say." He leaned up and kissed her. He didn't want to stop. It wasn't so much the sex that he cared about - he wanted to be close to her. He wanted her to fully understand the depth of what he felt for her.

"My bag. Left zip pocket."

"You're joking." He smirked. "How did you sneak off and buy condoms without my knowledge?"

She laughed quietly, rolling off his chest and watching him creep to her bag in the corner of his room. It was starting to get light now and his skin looked gorgeous in the haziness. He hadn't looked so healthy in weeks.

"I technically stole them from my brother. He won't notice - he's got a whole fucking drawer full."

"Your brother? As in _Malcolm_?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed impatiently - "Do we have to talk about this now?"

"No but ... I'm just surprised. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy."

"Well luckily for us, he is. Now come here, will you?"

His smile turned kind of shy as he climbed towards her and he kissed her jaw.

Neither of them were nervous, exactly. They were on the same page when it came to this stuff. It didn't have to mean _anything_. First times didn't have to be planned or romantic or perfect. It wasn't going to change their relationship in any way and they thought the massive stigma attached to sex was stupid. It made people nervous, ruined something that was supposed to be _fun_ because they were so worried about doing it right. They were both glad they had been through what they had, had seen so much that they didn't care about that side of things too much anymore. They were alive and they were going to live however many years they had the way they wanted to and they were going to live them _together_.

Percy was worried about Annabeth, more than anything. He wondered how clearly she was thinking. He knew how long nightmares could linger in her mind for and he didn't want to be doing this just as a distraction. He wanted her to be _sure_. He needed to know she was doing this because she _wanted to_.

He touched her face and pulled away, but kept his hand on her waist.

"Are you sure? I mean... are you okay enough to be doing this 'cause you want to be?" He kissed her nose. "I just don't want you to wake up the morning and regret it - that's all."

"I'm sure." She promised, pulling him back down towards her.

He laughed a little, "Okay. If you change your mind just punch me or something."

Annabeth rolled her eyes.

The whole affair was slow and intimate, filled with its fair share of giggles and mishaps and shuffling around. More importantly, they felt _comfortable_ with each other. They could lay there stark naked beside each other without feeling exposed or awkward and that was a beautiful revelation.

Even afterwards as they lay in silence together, limbs still lazily intertwined, they just felt content.

As much as they could have acknowledged that it wasn't the biggest deal for them, they were only human (half, anyway) and no matter how comfortable, how in love they were, they wouldn't have been surprised if there was a touch of awkwardness after. But nothing. It felt amazing.

Just lying there, listening to his heartbeat slow down, Annabeth still couldn't believe how deep she was in love with him. He had all the tools to hurt her more than anything else could, but she trusted him not to. That was quite something for her, Annabeth Chase, potentially the least trusting person in the world, the girl who could analyse someone's every expression, every move. Her heart just didn't have the capacity to fall in love with anyone else. And she knew it was stupid to think that a couple of kids who fell in love so young would be a permanent fixture but this was different. Percy wasn't just her boyfriend, or her best friend. He felt like her family. She didn't just _want_ to be with him, she _needed_ to be - no matter where, no matter what.

He was innocently tracing circles on her thigh, over and over again and she wished she could stay like this forever. Like this, she forgot about Tartarus for the first time since they got back. Her mind felt as refreshingly clear and alert as it had before they fell and despite the nightmare she had earlier, that was an improvement, for sure. An ounce of reassurance that things might turn out okay.

"You asleep?" Percy mumbled.

"Nearly."

He squeezed her hand.

"Good. You need it." He kissed her forehead. "I've got you, okay? I love you."

"You need to sleep as well, Percy."

"I'm gonna."

"Okay. I love you too. If you need me -"

"I know, Wise Girl. Sleep."

She nodded slightly and kissed his shoulder.

She didn't wake up until half-nine the next morning, with Percy grinning down at her like the adorable idiot he was.


End file.
